Managing Fear in Uncertain Times

The Calm Before the Storm

Last week, I promised an article and podcast episode on control and free will, but given current world events, I’ve decided we need to have a conversation about uncertainty, fear, and staying present instead. This isn’t meant to be political, but it’s clear that we’re in for a very, very bumpy ride. Learning to manage ourselves through it will be one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves as we move forward.

Uncertainty is one of the biggest generators of fear the human mind has. It’s easy to be afraid of things we don’t know and haven’t experience. It’s even easier to make up wild stories about what might happen - it’s the wild stories that we need to avoid.

The human mind naturally projects into the future. One of its protection mechanisms is turning uncertainty into a problem, operating under the idea that this will motivate you to keep things as close to the same as possible.

Right now, though, it’s hard to look around and figure out how to keep things the same. Every single day, there’s a new executive order, a new post on Truth Social, a new conflict, crisis, or problem—something else taken away from someone who needs it. Day by day, sometimes multiple times a day, the status quo is being chipped away. For many, that status quo provided a sense of safety and stability. And now, that safety and stability are eroding very quickly.

What do we do? How do we manage all of that?

First—and I know this gets said a lot—manage your news intake. Stick to headlines. Only read or watch the news a couple of times a week. Find ways to disconnect from the chaos. Social media is an insane place right now, which is one of the reasons I’ve moved to Substack—to step away from some of the noise. Even for me, after managing it for a long time, I’ve found myself needing to disconnect more and more because of the sheer amount of insanity being projected on those platforms.

Secondly—and I know this might sound harsh—but if something isn’t directly affecting you, let it go. If you don’t set limits on your capacity for compassion, the news will become overwhelming and suffocating. The reality is, at some point in the near future, we’re all going to be directly affected by one or more of these global shifts. No one will be untouched by the upheaval of the status quo. While compassion is an incredible gift, continually sacrificing your own well-being will be unsustainable in the long run.

Third, when you do poke your head out to see what’s going on around you, watch for the projection of fear and anxiety in others. Watch for others to create worst-case scenarios that aren’t happening. Right now, we’re seeing an explosion of interpretations—some grounded, many completely detached from the actual experience. The more fear spreads, the more these narratives take on a life of their own. Please be careful with what you take on.

“Truth” is subjective right now, it has been for a while. The more subjective it gets, the more versions of truth we have to pick from. Truth has become a choose your own adventure book. You get to pick what truth is to you and then go find things in your reality that mirror it. We can make that a fun game to play or we can make it a problem because we’re still busy looking for agreement. Please do yourself a favor and give up on the idea of agreement, especially at a large or global scale.

I’ve been repeating this refrain for a while now - we have to learn to coexist without the need for agreement. I believe that this is going to come to a pinnacle point very soon. While the world may in fact unite against one or two countries, there will still be an inability to get everybody to play the same game. Sometimes we just have to learn to let things happen. I believe this is one of those times. The fight to keep things the same is often more dangerous than simply allowing them to change. Learning when to let all the balls drop is a valuable skill that I think we’re about to learn in dramatic fashion.

The status quo was not sustainable. While I agree that taking a torch to it may not be the best way to create change, the status quo did need to change. Could we have created agreements that allowed everyone to coexist peacefully? Yes. Could we have stopped turning morality into a political argument? Yes. Could we have left politics to the government and stopped painting people with different ideologies as horrible? Yes. Did we do any of those things? No. No, we did not. Are we now going to pay the price for that? Yes. Yes, we are.

Fear of change helped create this. Fear of a lack of agreement helped create this. Fear of differing beliefs, ideologies, lifestyles, and ways of being helped create this. That fear is being perpetuated and acted on at all levels of society, in all kinds of ways, on both sides of the political spectrum. It shows up differently depending on which side you’re on, but at its core, it’s just two sides of the same coin.

Your ability to ground your brain in the present moment—to avoid getting caught up in the stories and the drama, to limit your news intake, and to manage your fear—is what will allow you to get through this with the least amount of anxiety and stress.

• Don’t let your mind project into the future.

• Don’t make up worst-case scenarios.

• Don’t take sides and pick a fight—because you can’t create peace through war.

• Pay attention to what’s actually happening in front of you—not what you think might be happening, what you’re afraid you can’t see happening, or how you think it should be happening. Stop telling those stories. Just see the he said/she said right in front of you without adding anything to it.

• Assume nothing. Allow for all possibilities without creating fear over what those possibilities might mean. Do not turn an unknown future into a fear-based outcome.

Do I see this ending well? No, not at all. Unfortunately, I think this upheaval has a very violent, catastrophic ending. The way I manage that is by not trying to create future meanings out of what I see happening in the present. I try not to make it mean anything more than what it is.

As the United States withdraws from its role in the world, a void is left to be filled. I look for the positive in that because other countries are stepping up. In some ways, it’s a good change. These shifts, while unexpected and disruptive, were also needed to some degree. I think it’s good for other countries to step in.

We are watching a proverbial changing of the guard. Many of the problems created by the U.S. withdrawal will be handled by other countries. They are temporary problems that can be reasonably resolved. The withdrawal itself isn’t the issue—it’s the potential for catastrophic violence that comes with it. More than anything, for most people, it’s the threat of violence that is the most concerning. From civil war to World War III and everything in between, the risk is high. That’s why it’s so important to keep your headspace in the present. If you delve too much into the possibility of violence, the fear will paralyze you.

Use the calm now to take care of yourself. It’s okay to pull back from the world and ground yourself from the inside. Often, when the world is rocking and rolling, the only stability we have is within ourselves. Create that place within you that is rock solid, that doesn’t move no matter what’s happening around you.

We live under an illusion of control. We think it’s our job to control the external world so we can feel safe and secure. But quite frankly, that’s a lie—one that will have you terrified in no time. The truth is that your only real sense of stability is the one you create within yourself. Find it. Hang onto it. Enjoy the peace while we have it.

It’s probably not going to last much longer.

Much love to all.

Della